All relationships are mirrors … like the eyes are the windows to our souls – relationships are the mirrors that reflect ourselves (with intense accuracy) back at us. It’s so important to understand that our external relationships reflect our internal relationships with ourselves. My primary relationship is with myself, as I learn:
To love myself, I automatically receive the love and the appreciation I desire from others.
To commit to myself and live my truth, I will attract others with equal commitment.
To be intimate with my own feelings, I am able to experience intimacy with another.
To enjoy my own company I can have fun with whoever I’m with.
And when I feel the aliveness and power of the universe flowing through me I can create a life of passion, love and fulfilment that I can share with everyone I am involved in.
When we meet someone we are intensely attracted to we experience what we call ‘fallingin love’. Falling in love is actually a powerful experience of ‘feeling’ the universe moving through you. The other person has become a channel for your connection to the divine … you look around and see beauty; you open up to love and passion and oneness. It is bliss-full and very similar to the feeling people experience after long periods of meditation ‘enLIGHTenment’.
At the moment of falling in love we are actually perceiving the beauty of that person’s spirit but not recognising it as a mirror of our own. We just know that we have this great ‘feeling’ when we are with them.
This is where the lines get blurry, because we begin to give our power away and start to put our own source of happiness outside of ourselves. Our outdated beliefs about relationships (where we are encouraged to make ourselves whole and happy by getting something from outside ourselvesor from the other person) are no longer serving us.
Inevitably, this expectation results in disappointment, resentment and frustration. Families and relationships, as we have known them, are now reaching crisis point and falling apart like never before. The other person becomes our object, our source of happiness, something we want to hold onto and possess. Unfortunately it’s like holding a fistful of sand, the tighter we grip the faster it slips through our fingers!
We get addicted to the person thinking we ‘need’ them. We focus on them, trying to grab them, control them, manipulate them – all the time never realising it’s the ‘energy’ we want, not the actual persons form. By grabbing hold of the energy channel so tightly with our control dramas we are actually strangling and closing off the very energy we seek.
The passion and attraction brings us together but our neediness, old patterns and inherited belief systems practically means that in modern relationships as soon as they have bloomed they begin to die. This intensifies our panic and we attempt more and more to recreate that initial experience of ‘falling in love’ only the harder we try, the more it eludes us.
These are exciting and challenging times we are living in right now. In reacting to this relationship crisis many have tried to bring back the old ‘put up and shut up’ traditional relationship model but we can’t look back and use old outdated systems we have simply evolved beyone them now.
We must move forward seeking and discovering something quite simple and profound – it’s not what we can take ~ it’s what we can give, it’s not what we need ~ it’s what we can share, it’s not about ‘them’ ~ it’s really about ‘us’ and the greatest thing we can do to heal the current state of our relationships is to realise that our greatest romance of all can be our love affair with life itself!
En’joy’ falling in LOVE! And beautiful vibrations to you all Claire x